Fate Melancholia
by ThouShaltKill
Summary: An alternate retelling of Unlimited Blade Works. In this story, Archer(EMIYA) is the Shirou Emiya from the Fate route of FSN. Beginning to break under his ideals and losing himself to despair, he remembers Saber. What will happen when he finally sees her again? A/N:Will follow canonical route up to a certain point and diverge.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Fate Stay Night is the property of Type-Moon.

Author's Note: It's been quite a number of years since I published a story, or updated one for that matter. Instead I've been reading quite a number of different novels and fanfictions and haven't found one that I liked for this pairing. So I'm going to do it myself. This will be from Archer's POV. In this story, Archer(EMIYA) is the future Emiya Shirou from the Fate Route of FSN. He's slowly losing his ideals and himself to despair. Now he finds himself in the UBL route, with the chance to see his beloved Saber again after countless years. Also, Archer in this story is OP. Why? In this instance, he is not here as a Servant per se, but as an agent of the Counter Force to stop the Grail. He is given enough power to be equal to the strongest Servant during the war. Should he fail, he will revert to his status as a counter-guardian with the appropriate power to kill everything in Fuyuki City on the will of Alaya.

Begin Story

It's quiet. The sky here, in my world has an eternal sunset. Time here means nothing. I cannot remember how long I've been sitting down at the top of hill, surrounded by swords. It could have been seconds. It could have been decades. Whenever I am summoned to fulfill my duties as a counter-guardian, there is no warning. I simply appear, given the knowledge and context of the era I am summoned into fight. Time itself has become meaningless to my being. Sometimes I forget myself. I no longer know why I agreed to do this. I take a look at the tattoo on my hand and something clicks. It's a remnant of the past. My old command seal, although now it's powerless ink. I start to remember. I had it tattooed so I would never forget. And I've become so close to forgetting. I guess in retrospect, I thought I just might see her again. And I saw her again, although it was just in my mind.

Every time I fought, every time I was at the end of a battle, I would see her. I was haunted by a ghost. In the small actions of normal life, I could feel her. And every time I would reach out to her, she would disappear. I would hear her footsteps out in the hall when I woke up early in the mornings. I would see her smile at me whenever I closed my eyes at night.

During those times when I was with other women, I would close my eyes and see her face. Whether it was Rin herself as she became my teacher, Illya as she latched onto me for warmth during the night, those times I worked with Ciel, or even when I met Akiha. I found it in me to love them, but they were they were still placeholders for her. My Saber. We were separated by time and space, but I could still feel her loving embrace. And I loved her fiercely. I cherished her, and her memory. The only time we were actually together was that War all those years ago. I still remember it. In my memories, I see it. The very first time I summoned her.

She was bathed in moonlight, wearing full armor. Her hair was blonde, with sharp green eyes, and the most beautiful face I've ever seen. At the time, I had no idea that this encounter would shape the rest of my life, and what came after it. Her green eyes bore into mine. I fell in love completely. Even as I was about to be killed by Lancer, I was lost. She said to me:

"I ask of you. Are you my Master?"

I haven't thought of this in years. As I begin to remember her, I fall.

The world around me distorts, and I find myself in a void. I feel like I'm falling from a great height, and it's not unfamiliar to me. It always feels like this before I have to clean up after someone else. Before I have to slaughter again. From the nothingness, I hear a voice. It's faint, but I feel like it's for me. It's calling to me -

" _Heed my words. My will creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny -_

 _If you heed the Grail's call and obey my will and reason, then answer me._

 _I hereby swear that I shall be all that is good in the world,_

 _that I shall defeat all that is evil in the world..."_

I know this voice. But I cannot remember who's it is. I want to follow it. Is this the will of Alaya? Can I really use this chance to grant my wish?

"You seven heavens, clad in the three great words of power,

 _come forth from the circle of binding, Guardian of the Scales!"_

I fall, and crash through a roof. Surprisingly, all the furniture I've broken has become a makeshift throne. It's a western style room. I can feel it in the air, this belongs to a magi. How have I been summoned by a magi? My mind then overloads with the with the knowledge of the era I am in. Why I have been summoned. The Holy Grail War. I thought I put an end to this years ago?

"What the hell, the door's broken!". I hear the same voice that called to me.

The door then bursts open, and I see her. It is at that point, I know exactly where I am, why I'm here, and who I've become. The reason I'm here is obvious, and I know now why that Archer was summoned all those years ago. It's because the grail is corrupted, and to prevent that disaster from ever granting a wish, it needs to be destroyed. I'm here not because of my own wishes, but the wish of Alaya. I check myself. I'm stronger than I've ever been.

Rin looks at me with hope in her eyes. I've been summoned to the 5th Holy Grail War. The one where I met her. My Saber. And a weight slips off my shoulders. Ever since we destroyed the grail, almost milennia ago to me, I've been wandering. Everything I've done, or set out to do, it was with the intent to see her again. I'm going to be with my Saber again.

I break out into a smile. My best friend from ages ago, looks at me and a question hangs in the air. She shifts now, a bit unsure of herself. I can see all thoughts running through her face, a leftover from our own time together in my past. She doesn't know me, but right now I know her probably more than she knows herself. It's good to see her, but it gets overshadowed by the fact that I know I'll see her again soon. My beloved Saber.

I decide to play my part. No one can know exactly who I am, or why I'm here until the time comes. I remember her again, as I speak the words she herself asked me so long ago. This is the way it should be.

"I ask of you. Are you my Master?"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Fate Stay Night is owned by Type-Moon.

Author's Note: Here it is, the second chapter. I hope you like it. For those of you getting impatient, and who want Saber to come into the story immediately...please be patient.

Begin the story:

Rin looked at me, and looked at the clock on the wall. Her face grew pale, and she fell to her in knees. I 'm guessing she made a mistake with the ritual. Well, she summoned a Counter-guardian instead of a normal Heroic Spirit. How badly did she screw up? I then chuckled quietly, but not quiet enough to escape her attention. She looked back at me, and said

"Well, what are you supposed to be?"

I then remember that this Rin, is not my Rin. She has no idea who I am, given that my age and height aside, my skin, hair and eyes are different from the Emiya Shirou that she knows from school. After years of friendship, comfort, and even love, I had forgotten that Rin could be haughty and somewhat arrogant herself.

Very well, I thought to myself. Rin had told me of her experience with Archer. He was arrogant right off the bat, and angered her so much that she used a command seal to force obedience onto him. I decided to do the same. I put on an arrogant smile, and told her

"Huh. That's the first thing you have to say to me? Well, well. It looks like I've been summoned by quite the unusual Master. Ah, shit. Did I draw the the short end of the stick? I have always had rather poor luck... "

Her eyes narrowed, and I knew I pissed her off. She sighed, closed her eyes, and put her hand to her head in defeat.

"So you are my Servant alone, and belong to no one else? I'd like to establish the Master-Servant relationship clearly, and right off the bat."

I decide to give her a hard time.

"Yes, I am in complete agreement with that opinion. However, where is the evidence that you are my Master?"

She then holds up her command seals, and says to me

"Here. This should be all the evidence that you need, right?"

I widen my eyes in surprise at her, and she looks a bit confused now. I press my attack.

"You have got to be kidding me. Are you serious, girl? It wasn't that meaningless mark that I wanted to see. I want to see if you are worthy of my loyalty."

"Excuse me, are you saying that I'm not good enough to be your Master?"

I stand up, and walk over to her. At this point in our lives, I tower over Rin. She looks up, meets my eyes anyway.

"Know this. I find you lacking. I am utterly disappointed, but I acknowledge you as my Master. But on one condition. In the coming war, I will disregard anything you say. I will decide how we fight our battles. I trust you have no objections?"

I smirk, and walk away from her. She has been seething in anger for quite a while now. It's coming close. Her voice is strained, and I get the feeling of a dam about to burst.

"I see. So you grudgingly acknowledge me, but you won't listen to anything I have to say? What is that? You are my Servant, are you not?"

"Oh, have I made you angry? Don't worry. Just sit tight in your room, and I'll win this war before you know it. After all, I was summoned to bring victory to you. Now go leave me be, and I'll take care of everything."

She shakes in a rage, looks at me, and begins to cast a spell. I take a seat on the broken furniture, and stare at her.

"You will have absolute obedience to everything I say!"

Her command seals light up, and one fades. I then feel a distinct pressure on my body, and the feeling goes away. I stand up, walk over to her and start to lecture her.

"Are you that impulsive, girl?You really used a broad command seal with so broad an order? Are you crazy?"

Rin begins to look embarrassed, and puts her head down. She realizes she lost control of the situation, or that maybe she never even was in control. She suggests we take this elsewhere. I agree. She guides me away from the trashed room, to another room. There are no lights or candles in this room, but the curtains are open, letting the moonlight slip through. Rin sits down on red couch, and starts hugging her legs. She starts to pout.

"I was well within my rights as a Master to give you that order."

"Yes, you were. However, it is next to useless at this point. A command seal's effectiveness lies in the specifics of the order itself. An order so broad as the one you gave..."

Rin's eyes go wide, and she hugs her legs tighter. A flush appears on her face.

"You mean, it was all worthless?"

At this point, I decide to butter her up.

"Well, it seems you aren't such a worthless Master after all. Normally, an order such as the one you gave would be useless. However, I feel such a strange compulsion to follow it. Very well, I apologize for treating you as a child before. I can tell that although you are young, you have great skill as a magus, and even greater potential. I will obey you, girl."

Rin breaks out into a smile, and I can tell I've won her over. But then she frowns -

"Girl? Why do you keep calling me girl?"

I stare at her. She then realizes she never introduced herself properly.

"Ah, I apologize. That was beneath me as a Tohsaka. Let us start over. I am Tohsaka Rin. As for how you address me, you may call me whatever you like."

I smile, and let the familiar word roll off my tongue as I answer.

"I will call you Rin, then. Yes, Rin. The sound of it suits you."

She begins to choke on the tea she had just been drinking, and her face flushes in embarrassment. I keep smiling. We will have a good Master-Servant relationship. Even in the past, years after the Grail War, Rin would always tell me that her Archer had a special place in her heart.

After the Holy Grail War of my past, she spent a whole night crying for Archer, who had sacrificed himself to let us escape, killing six of Berserker's twelve lives in the process. Things will be different this time around. Rin then takes another look at me, noting my attire.

"Do you not have a sword?"

I laugh internally. Oh Rin, if only you knew...

"Were you expecting the Saber-Class Servant? I apologize. I am of the Archer-Class."

She frowns again, all traces of her earlier embassment gone.

"Ah, I should have expected as much. I should have taken greater care when setting up the summoning ritual."

"Let me state this now. I will prove my worth as a Servant to you. And when you see my strength, you will regret your behavior right now. And you will apologize to me for this."

Rin smiles, and looks straight at me.

"Alright Archer. When that time comes, you can make me go on my hands and knees and beg for your forgiveness."

We leave the room, and go into the hallway. Rin tells me it's late, and she needs to get sleep for school tomorrow. On the way to her room, she says to me

"So, which Heroic Spirit are you? What land do you come from?"

Ah, it's about time this came up. Until the point comes when I can no longer hide who I am, I will feign ignorance. Hopefully, she doesn't use a Command Spell to force the knowledge out of me.

"I apologize, Rin. My memory is hazy. I cannot remember who I was in life. This might be another product of the summoning ritual being conducted improperly."

Rin grimaces, and turns an annoyed look to me.

"Alright. Well Archer, I'm going to sleep. That room that you messed up on your arrival? Make sure to clean it up by the morning. And wake up me up for school, please."

I break out a heavy sigh. Cleaning? At least it's something I'm good at. But then, I start to feel passionate. It clicks. Somewhere inside me, a fire lights up as I remember how much I enjoyed cleaning in life.

"Very well. Good night, my Master."

Rin then goes to sleep, and I set upon my task. I had always enjoyed cleaning, even before I set upon the path of the magus. As I worked, my memories seeped in. This house, was full of memories of Rin and I together. As I repaired the furniture, and reinforced them, I would see Rin. Not the younger Rin upstairs, but the ghost of the Rin I once knew.

I've lived such a long life, and known so many losses. All the way until I was the only one left with a noose on my neck.

The morning comes sooner than I expected. I go to Rin's room, and knock on her door. There's no sign of a response. I go inside, and try to wake her.

"It's time to wake up, Rin."

She shifts slightly in her sleep, then puts the covers over her face. Another memory replays in my mind, and I act it out as I remember. I swiftly pick her up in half asleep state, and carry her to her drawing room. She's a bit dazed while she's sitting on the couch. She still doesn't realize she's already out of bed. I quickly prepare some tea, the way I know she likes it. I place it in front of her, and snap her out of her stupor.

"Are you finally awake, Master? You need to prepare for your day."

She startles awake, and looks around her. She's a bit surprised to find herself no longer in her room, and with tea in front of her no less. She greets me, and takes a sip of the tea I prepared.

"Delicious!" She's amazed, and looks at me with wonder. I can read her thoughts from her face.

 _This Servant not only knows how to prepare good tea, he knows which tea set I prefer to use!_

I smile as I won a small victory. Just remembering how many tries and lecture from Rin herself to prepare tea correctly had frustrated me as I prepared the tea. I feel validated somehow, knowing how to prepare tea after not having done it since I was alive. Rin however, catches this smile of mine.

"What are you smirking at? Since you obviously know how to prepare tea, is it safe to assume you've remembered who you are?"

"No. However, rest assured. My fighting abilities are all up to par. I remember how to perform tasks, as well as how to fight, but cannot remember my identity."

"Alright, I'll figure out what to do about your amnesia later on. For now, get ready to go out, Archer."

The rest of the morning goes by without incident. Rin then tells me that to better prepare for the War to come, she will skip school today and show me around the city. I debate whether or not to stop her from doing so, since I already know this city, as well as how the Grail War to come will play out. I decide not to, and so she shows me around the city as I follow her in spirit form. She begins to teach me about Fuyuki city, its history in context with the Holy Grail War, as well as the other Magus family of the city, the Matous. The day ends without us seeing any other Masters or Servants. As I figure it's time for us to return home, Rin then says to me

"Archer, we have one last place for us to go. Follow me."

She takes me to the highest skyscraper in Fuyuki city, and I see that I have a great view of the entire city.

"I can see how many tiles are on that bridge from here. It would have been better if you had taken me here first. We wouldn't have had to walk around all day."

"You can see that far? That's almost four kilometers away!" Rin then begins to smirk, and I can tell what's coming. "The Archer-Class is amazing...Truly, it is made up of archers." She says with a smile on her face.

"I get the feeling that I'm being ridiculed."

"Of course not! I wouldn't do something so base as that."

A moment passes, and the sounds of the city are all that we are left with. I decide to ask her about her wish.

"Rin. I need to ask you something. It's obvious you were raised as a Magus. However, did you know about the Holy Grail War since you were a child?"

"Yes, that is correct. It's been the dream of every Tohsaka for generations to win."

"And you followed along with this, without complaint?"

"Yes, that's right."

"One more question, then. I need to know this. Can I ask you what your wish is? Unless I know this, I cannot entrust myself to you."

Rin looks up at the stars, and begins to speak.

"To be honest, I'm not so interested in the wish, as I am in winning the war. I want to win. I need to win." She becomes quiet as she gets overcome by her conviction.

"I see. You are my ideal Master then. Truly, I could not have been summoned by a better Master. There can be no doubt that we are perfectly suited for each other."

Rin starts up with a "Hey-" but immediately becomes quiet, blushes and turns away. She then turns back to me, and smiles.

We go back home, and Rin tells me to make sure she wakes up in time for school tomorrow. I accede to her request, while she sleeps, I dream of Saber. If my analysis of the timeline is correct, she will be summoned tomorrow night, and I will see her again. My heart aches for a bit. Even with all the other women in my life, I've been haunted by her and consumed by loneliness.

As I ruminate on how I'll react to seeing her again, I remember that I'll see Illya again tomorrow. After the Grail War, we were the only family the other had left. Illya couldn't travel back to the Einzbern Castle after failure, so she stayed and lived with me as my sister. We became very close, and it felt good to have a semblance of a real family again since my father had died. But in the end, I was left alone again. The last time I saw her, she had finally started to look like a young woman instead of a little girl. She was also close to death. Her homunculus body, although of natural birth, had never been designed to live a normal human lifespan. She had just turned twenty-nine when she passed away in my arms. I close my eyes, and I hear her voice.

Even close to death, she had cared for me and tried to console me. I was holding her in my arms in our house, when she put a hand to my face, and said

"Onii-chan... Are you going to be okay when I'm gone?"

"I'll be okay, Illya-chan. Even without you, though I'll be sad...I'll make it somehow." I said this, though tears were running down my face. Illya was the only family I had left in the world.

Illya then smiled at me, and I realize I had never seen her look so fragile as in that moment.

"But Onii-chan...No one is alone the way you are alone. I know you love me, and I love you too. But even while we were together...she still wasn't there."

I begin to cry profusely at this point. I didn't want Illya to know that I still felt incomplete in our little family.

"But it's okay Onii-chan. I never resented you for that. I love you."

Illya then closed her eyes, and her hand slipped away from my face. My eyes grew wide. Her body became slack.

"Illya?! I love you too, Illya!"

….I remember myself and where I am. I'm going to see her tomorrow, as well as my Saber. Both won't know who I am. I wonder if I'll break.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The FATE franchise is owned by Type-Moon.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I now work full-time, and go to school full-time.

Rin woke up with a start, to the delicious aromatic smell of tea. She slowly took note of her surroundings, and her situation. She had summoned her Servant, the Archer, and though he forgot himself, he apparently remembered how to serve tea – excellently. She yawned, and checked her alarm clock. It was five minutes until her alarm was set to ring. She grimaced slightly at the thought of sleep that was denied to her, but she got out of bed anyway.

She walked from her room to the serving room, and found Archer sitting lazily on her couch with a smug look on his face.

"Ah, Master. Did I wake you?"

"No. You didn't wake me. I got up of my own accord. A Magus is never late, nor early. They are there precisely when they mean to be."

"Sure, Master. I have prepared tea for your awakening. I was simply taking the time to sample it before intruding upon you."

Archer got up with a flourish, as Rin sat down. She then chose to observe him. He took the teapot, and poured into her favorite cup. As she sat there watching him she realized that his movements were very well-rehearsed, as if this set of actions has been done hundreds of times. He also moved exactly the way that she herself served tea, as her own father had taught her when she was a little girl. Who was this man who seemed so at home in her house?

Her reverie was broken by Archer depositing the cup into her hand. It was very warm, and the smell of it cleared away the fogginess in her mind. After sipping the tea, a tear fell from her eye.

I felt like I was playing a game of emotions. I had prepared tea this morning for Rin, and she broke down crying without knowing why. Understandably she was confused, but I didn't reveal my actions. The tea I chose was her father's favorite, and it was one that they had shared together many times during her childhood. It was something she had confessed to me when we lived in London together, a casual slip from her mind when things were good between us, and I was still learning her exacting way of tea preparation.

After the tea incident, Rin got ready for school, we prepared to leave. The phone rang on our way out. She answered, and with an annoyed voice informed who I can only assume was Kotomine the priest that she had succeeded in summoning me. After that brief exchange, she hung up on the phone rather angrily. It was heartwarming to see her still this way.

We made our way to the school, and it was uneventful. However, after crossing the threshold Rin felt a huge weight upon her shoulders, a sickly stench, a feeling of nausea. There was the bounded field.

"Archer!"

"I can feel it too."

She then continued on to class, and I knew I would hear more from her later. It happened during her lunch break. After ensuring she was alone at the bottom of a stairwell, she explained our plan of attack for later. She couldn't believe anyone would have the audacity to place a field like this at a school.

Our planning was interrupted by a student dropping books. I felt her, then. It was Sakura. I have always had a soft spot for Sakura. She helped me when no one else would. She loved me. She still loved me, even when it resulted in her death. She never wavered. I loved her too, but I think even she knew deep down like Rin did eventually that she could never be what Saber was to me.

Rin wordlessly signaled me to go away, but I stayed and watched the two sisters. Though separated by circumstances beyond them, Rin would try to take care of Sakura however she could. As I watched the two, another image came into my mind of Rin and Sakura. Rin holding Sakura in her arms lovingly. A haunting picture, the result of fighting Caster for her sister. And that reminded me of Caster. She would be a pain to deal with.

I didn't hear from Rin anymore until much later in the evening. Though I have memories that stretch into lifetimes at this point, I've never felt like anything took so long. All I could think on was Saber, and the fact that she would be summoned tonight. Would she remember me? Would she know me? If I can be summoned into the timeline, would she be able to have memories of events that haven't occurred? If she does not remember me, would she let me hug her? My proud Saber, would most likely not. Would she believe me if I tried to explain to her the circumstances of my summoning, and my love for her? Love that has lasted what seems to be centuries, if not millennia? Or would she cut me down if I tried to embrace her? I just want to hold her again. I feel like I've been on this journey forever. I want to rest my weary head on her lap. I….What if she remembers everything, and hates who I've become? What could I do then? I could never strike her down. Though if she provoked Alaya, or my reason for being here, I would. Without a choice. I have no choice. She had already been denied a wish by the Grail once, due to my father. This Grail is corrupt, though no else knows it. She still seeks her own wish. I am so fucked.

The sun had set, and to Rin's knowledge, there were no students left at school. It was the perfect time for her investigation into the bounded field. We made our way to the school roof, where she found a very strange-looking set of runic symbols. As she was disabling it, she asked me if I knew of it. I told her it looked very old, which earned a scowl from Rin. We were then interrupted by a voice from above us. It was Cuchulain. Or as he would be known right now…Lancer.


End file.
